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Friday, January 27, 2012

Interlude: Of Course I Want a Box of Monkey Hands




I've added The Bloggess to my list of recommended sites, even though a) she's an a-lister in the blogosphere and I tend to shy away from them; and b) she doesn't normally write about horror films (she doesn't normally write about anything*).

I have no evidence for this, but her off-beat sensibilities make me think that she'd have been a devout Horror Incorporated viewer, had God only seen fit to place her in the Twin Cities in the 1970s.

Here she is walking through a barn full of oddities, owned by the family of her best friend Laura:

me:  HOLY SHIT, THERE'S A 10 FOOT GUN IN HERE. 
Laura:  It’s not loaded.
me:  THERE ARE LIFE-SIZE FAIRIES HANGING FROM THE CEILING.
Laura:  Huh.  So there are.
me:  There’s a box here that says “Monkey hands” on the outside.
Laura:  It probably has monkey hands in it.
me:  MOTHER OF GOD, THIS IS A BOX FULL OF MONKEY HANDS.
Laura:  Do you want them?
me:  Do I want a box of monkey hands?  Is this a trick question?  Of course I want a box of monkey hands.  But I’m not going to take all your monkey hands.  I’ll just take two.
Laura:  OMG, take the box of monkey hands.  What am I going to do with monkey hands?
me:   What couldn’t you do with monkey hands?
Laura:  I…have no response for that.
me:  Okay, I’m taking these monkey hands on loan, but they’re yours when you need them.
Laura:  I’ve almost never had the need for monkey hands.
me:  It’s weird that we’re friends.
Laura:  Good weird, or bad wierd?
me:  Well, good weird for me.  I just got an unexpected box of monkey hands.
Laura:  Well then, it’s working out for everyone.
Seems to me you couldn't watch Horror Incorporated every week and not want a box full of monkey hands. So welcome aboard, Bloggess.
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*There's a joke in there somewhere, but damned if I can find it.

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